I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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