Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
