this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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