my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
where does the pee come out of this thing
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize