Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
