How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize