You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
