I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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