I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just cut my nipple shaving
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
