I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
did i just pee glitter
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize