He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
