Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
