sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
