So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
