After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize