wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
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