Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He? As in you personified your dick?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
