a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
