There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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