Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
