So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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