My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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