I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
