maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
