I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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