Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
we're making bets on your personal life
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
