she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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