I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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