Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Life is so much better after having sex.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
