dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
