new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
