dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
