I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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