I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
All the doctor said was why
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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