look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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