Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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