so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
