Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just want nice things and good sex
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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