remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
