i just had sex bonerless
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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