I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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