ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize