Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
