I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
