i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
