It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
