she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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