I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
