Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
