You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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