For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
