so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
