I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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