Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
