You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
