I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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