I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
