Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
