I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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