Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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