What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
