I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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