Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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