Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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