I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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