oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
