That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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