i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
