Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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